


This Is Just Some Sick Prank, Right?

by peridoll



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Halloween
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 05:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16299074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peridoll/pseuds/peridoll
Summary: Autumn Amedot Week Prompt 1; Halloween. A Halloween night that was meant to be fun turns nightmarish as Peridot faces the ultimate horror movie scenario.





	This Is Just Some Sick Prank, Right?

**Author's Note:**

> I've been in the midst of a nasty dry spell so I kinda had to kick myself in the ass to actually finish this and participate in the Amedot Week somehow. To be honest, I have 0 clue how I actually want this to end, which is why the ending is... a bit of a cop-out. But I had fun writing it anyway! Amethyst is always a blast to write.

“ _ Hey, it’s me. If you’re a telemarketer, please leave me alone. Otherwise, leave a message after the beep. Maybe I’ll get back to you in the next millennia, but you really should just message me on Facebook. What’re you doing calling my phone, anyway? What is this, the early 2000s? Who do you think I-”  _ The message tone cut off the girl with its blaring beep, and Peridot rolled her eyes.

“Amethyst, it’s Peridot,” Peridot started, giving Pumpkin’s leash a light tug to guide her away from a temptingly muddy puddle on the grassy side of the sidewalk. She scuffled along in her hard-soled slippers, her costume makeup already done. The Pomeranian bounced on ahead of her, sniffing at a small bush with shriveled flowers. “You were supposed to be at my house two hours ago! Where are you?! We’re already late for the party as it is, but now you’ve marred yourself as a completely unreliable ride! Anyway, call me back when you get this message so I know you’re not dead in a ditch. Or text me, whatever.” With a huff, Peridot aggressively tapped the hang up button and stuffed her phone into her sweatshirt pocket as a gust of cool night wind buffeted against her hooded head. 

It had rained all day but despite the swamped yards and treacherous, pot-hole filled roads, trick-or-treaters young and old braved the neighborhood streets. Half of her own bowl of candy had already been picked through. Peridot hadn’t even planned to be at home this year, she was supposed to be at a party away from yelling children. Instead, she had been answering the door over and over and over for two hours straight, and finally said  _ fuck it _ and escaped out the back door with her pet, leaving the bowl of candy to the mercy of children who didn’t understand the meaning of ‘take two’! 

Admittedly, the young woman felt a little dorky out and about with a faceful of makeup by herself. She feared some people thought she was a middle schooler on the prowl for candy as well, but she was 22 and far too old for such traditions… At least to be doing it by herself. ‘ _ No _ ,’ she thought to herself, ‘ _ Seriously, I’m way too old to be trick-or-treating. Yeah, Halloween parties with like-minded adults dressed in overly sexualized costumes of mustard bottles is more my speed… Ugh. _ ’ 

Amethyst had the audacity to invite her to a cruddy party, insist that it wouldn’t be the same without her, then fall completely off the grid when it came time to pick her up? Her excuse better be that she  _ was  _ dead in a ditch. That would be sufficient enough.

“C’mon, Pumpkin,” Peridot cooed at her dog, whose tail wagged madly in response. “Let’s head back, I guess. Maybe Ames will make an appearance soon…” A shiver ran down her spine as she gazed out into the dark, open street. Leaves swirled into eerie figures in the distance. “...Hopefully.” Suddenly feeling nervous, Peridot scooped up her puppy and cradled her close, speed walking in the direction they had come from. Most of the swarms of costumed children had moved on from this street and onto the next, and her block of houses was nearly abandoned. She could spot her homey one-story abode in the distance and broke into a hurried jog.

She took her front steps two at a time and dug through her back sweatpants pockets with one hand, Pumpkin safely tucked under her arm, frantically searching for her house keys. A presence loomed somewhere nearby, and she swore she heard something shuffling in the brush, but when she glanced back, there was nothing. Shaking her head in hopes of dispelling the irrational paranoia, she then checked her sweatshirt pocket for the keys, but couldn’t find them there either. With a frustrated groan, she descended the stairs once again and went to reach into the cranberry bush beside the rails-

“ _ RAHH! _ ” A masked figure leaped out of the bush beside her, waving around a chainsaw that roared to life. Peridot yelped, jumping back with eyes wide, but a second later grew oddly calm. 

“C’mon, Amethyst, you need to try harder than that!” The figure lowered her weapon in defeat, letting the growl of the fake prop die off. She lifted her Jason-styled killer hockey mask from her face, revealing cat whiskers and a severe black winged cat eye. “Everyone knows Jason doesn’t have a chainsaw, that’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Get it? Texas  _ Chainsaw _ Massacre?”

Amethyst cracked a cheeky grin, rubbing her elbow. “Aww, shucks. I thought I could get you pretty good! Why didn’t you shit yourself?”

“Because,” with a snort, Peridot gave her girlfriend a playful shove to the shoulder. “You’re not exactly the most intimidating person, even behind the mask. I mean- you’re scary, just not in that way.” Amethyst’s face dropped, and she pouted. 

“You’re too harsh. And critical. And a giant nerd,” with each verbal jab, she poked Peridot’s ticklish sides, making the woman squirm and jerk away.

“Hey, stop that-!” Holding in a bubble of giggles, Peridot escaped the attack and reached back into the cranberry bush for the hidden key that she had velcroed to the side of the staircase. “What’s wrong with you, anyway? Do you know how late you are?” Amethyst snatched Pumpkin from Peridot’s arms, kissing her all over her tiny dog face and cooing sweetly. 

“I know, Pumpkin, isn’t Mommy such a hardass? Say it with me, ha-r-d-ass!” The puppy yipped in response, her entire fluffy body wiggling in the girl’s grip. Peridot unlocked the front door at last with a  _ clunk _ , and she grabbed the now-barren candy bowl that sat on the porch chair. 

“Hey! Shut up, you’re the hardass,” the blonde countered, pulling off her hood and letting her messy mop of bleached hair free. “Hold on, I gotta get dressed still.”

“Well come on! Hurry up! What’re you waiting for?!” 

“I’m not the one who disappeared for two hours!” Peridot snapped, lingering at the front door entrance as Amethyst hopped up the porch stairs after her. “Where were you, anyway?”

“Oh, you know, just… somewhere.” With a sneaky wink, Amethyst set Pumpkin down on the floor and the puppy scurried off to the living room. Peridot raised a skeptical eyebrow, but decided it would be best not to question further. Instead, she spun around and rounded the corner to the bathroom, where her costume, a knee-length black witch dress, was laid out on the sink counter. She kicked the door shut, then stripped off her sweatshirt and sweatpants, slipping into the itchy dress. She topped off her costume with a large, pointed witch hat, and leaned in close to the mirror to check on her dramatic green eyeshadow and black lipstick. If there was one thing she still adored about Halloween, it was the costumes. Even if she was being dragged to a shitty basement party, it was worth it.

Satisfied with her look, Peridot rushed from the bathroom, tossed a few treats to her pet, and locked the front door. Her ring of keys sat on the side table next to the coat rack, and she cursed herself for forgetting about them before going for her short walk. She grabbed them and popped them into her small shoulder bag, double-checking she also had her phone, then bound out the door. “We’re already late, you know how I feel about that.”

“I know, I know,” Amethyst snorted, taking Peridot’s hand and walking her to the car, where she opened the passenger door and bowed jokingly. “You can’t  _ stand  _ it. How will you be able to go on?” Dramatically, Amethyst slammed the door shut and danced her way around the front of the car to the driver’s seat. Once in, she tossed her prop chainsaw and hockey mask into the backseat, alongside the littered trash and empty bottles of water. Peridot cringed, cautiously picking up a dirty-looking used napkin and chucking it behind her as well.

“I’ll live, but I don’t understand how you function like this.” The engine hacked and coughed its way to life and Amethyst backed out of the driveway, wheels squeaking and the frame of the car trembling from the effort. “Don’t you think it’s time for a new car…?”

“In this economy? Fuck no!” Amethyst retorted, straightening out the struggling vehicle as they got out onto the road. With a content sigh, she reclined back into the cushioned seat and reached a hand over to rest on Peridot’s thigh. “Relax, she’s fine. She’s a fighter, I’ll use her until the day she dies on me.” 

Blushing, Peridot intertwined her fingers with her girlfriend’s, stacking their hands on top of her leg. “You’re so stubborn.”  
“Yeah, but you love it. I know you do.” With a cheeky grin, Amethyst leaned over and planted a sneaky kiss on Peridot’s cheek, which the blonde quickly tried to wipe away, but to no avail. It left a small black stain, from Amethyst’s black upper-lip to imitate a cat’s mouth. Grumbling, Peridot shrugged. 

“I guess, if you say so…” She hid a smile by turning her head, gazing out the window as they exited her homey neighborhood and headed out onto the busier main road. “Where is this party, anyway?” To fill the car with some life, Amethyst flicked on the radio, leaving it on a station that was in the midst of a Halloween playlist. 

“Up north, about 45 minutes. It’s this old haunted abandoned mansion, I’ve been there before-”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Peridot recoiled, untangling their fingers and holding up her hands in defense. “I thought this was just gonna be one of your jackass basement parties. You didn’t mention the haunted mansion part!” 

“It’s fine, you’re worrying too much! I don’t think it’s  _ actually  _ haunted or anything, it’s just a cool little place! It’s atmospheric.” Keeping her cool, Amethyst cranked up the music, successfully drowning out any further complaints that could’ve come from Peridot’s mouth with the hit song Monster Mash. Pouting, the blonde dodged an apologetic shoulder pat, swatting it away. “You’re gonna love it, I promise. We’ll have fun! It’s not even like a normal party. It’s fake-fancy, like there’s gonna be champagne and everyone’s gonna be in costume and in character- I thought you liked that kinda stuff!”

“I do, but…” 

“But what? No butts allowed here, missy.” Stopping at a red light, right before the turn onto the highway, Amethyst tilted her head, pursing her lips together. “Don’t be a sourpuss. I invited you cuz I wanted you to come! A black cat needs her witch, and a witch needs her familiar, right? It wouldn’t have felt good if I had gone alone.” Peridot resisted Amethyst’s puppy dog eyes for as long as possible but quickly cracked under the pressure and gave her girlfriend the satisfaction of winning. 

“Fine, you’re right. I just- hate scary places is all!” Peridot met Amethyst halfway over the middle console, pressing their lips together in a cold kiss.

“You? The one who binge watches horror movies even when it’s not Halloween? The one who watches these movies in the dark completely alone?  _ You’re  _ afraid of a little haunted house?” Amethyst stole another kiss before the light flickered green, and wrenched her car onto the highway. It whirred and wheezed as she picked up speed to merge into the main lanes. Peridot held on tight to the safety handle above the window.

“It’s- it’s different! All of those movies are fiction, but real life abandoned mansions are actually scary.” Surprisingly, there was very little traffic traveling down the expanse of road. Peridot watched as trees whizzed by, the street lamps doing little to illuminate the pitch black night.

“You’re silly. Why didn’t I scare you earlier, then? I thought I was pretty convincing.” 

“Ugh, no. There’s a big difference between Jason Vorhees, you, and an actual murderer. I know you too well, you couldn’t even scare Steven.”

Amethyst scratched the back of her head, fluffing up her deep chocolate brown mane of hair. “Damn, I guess you’re right. I’ll leave the scaring to Jasper. I’m more of a romantic, anyway. Horror isn’t my genre.” The woman lifted her girlfriend’s hand to her lips, eyes wandering from the road ahead of her, and littered ticklish kisses along the back of her hand. Peridot giggled, thoroughly distracted as well. 

Peridot spotted a figure standing in the middle of the highway lane in front of them, just out of the corner of her eye. She gasped, yanking her hand away from Amethyst. “Watch out-!” Amethyst jerked the wheel just in time, swerving out of the way of the darkened figure. 

 

In the short second that it was caught in the headlights, Peridot could see it was holding something.

 

The car crunched as they barreled through the guardrails, and Peridot braced herself as they skidded down the steep incline and into the wooded area lining the highway. The radio turned to static and died out. They crashed into a tree, and the car spun sideways. The impact hit the driver’s side, crushing in the door and shattering the window into shards that flew everywhere. They flipped and tumbled a few times down the rest of the hill, before the vehicle creaked to a stop completely upside down. 

Peridot pressed a hand against her pounding head. The airbag had deployed, but she had still banged her head against the side of the car’s frame, and she was bleeding from her forehead. Her seatbelt suspended her to the seat, but gravity pulled her downwards so she managed to undo the belt with a shaky hand. Still in shock, she reached over to tap Amethyst’s shoulder. 

“Amethyst, are you okay?” Her heart dropped as she didn’t get a reply for a few seconds, but her girlfriend stirred with a groan. 

“Fuck- no. I’m stuck.” As the girl lifted her head up, Peridot flinched as she realized not only did her girlfriend have slivers of glass sticking from her face, but her entire leg had been crushed under the pressure of the bent-in door. The girl tried to move it but hissed in pain, so Peridot gave her a stern shove.

“Stop, I’ll- I’ll call 911. Just leave it, you’re gonna end up ripping your own leg off.” Frazzled but attempting to compose herself, Peridot kicked out the passenger side window, which was already partially shattered, and crawled out the small space. She felt the pierce and prick of glass on the palms of her hands, but fought through the pain and fear until she felt soft grass and brittle leaves. Her witch dress was ripped down the side, enough to show her underwear, but that was the least of her worries as she dug out her phone, knees cold on the hard ground. She could barely dial the numbers, hands trembling as adrenaline pumped through her veins. 

“Uh, Peridot…”  she heard Amethyst mutter, but as she pressed her phone against her ear she didn’t listen. “Peridot, there’s someone-” Peridot spun her head, ducking to peek into the wrecked car. Amethyst’s gaze drew out her window and up the hill they had just come down. The phone began to ring. 

The figure they had nearly plowed right through was approaching, moonlight shining down on them but not revealing any details. Peridot rose to her feet, eyebrows scrunching together in question. “Hey, are you okay? What were you doing standing in the middle of the-”

The figure lifted the blade of a chainsaw into the sky, the silhouette of it stark against the glowing moonlight. It roared to life, and Peridot’s blood ran cold. Her phone slipped from her hand.

 

“Peridot, run!” 

 

Paralyzed by fear, Peridot froze on the spot and could only watch as the figure broke into a jog, covering the distance between itself and their ruined car. It swung the chainsaw, and sparks flew as it hit the metal, slicing through it like butter and screeching like a banshee. 

 

“I said run!” 

 

Peridot’s legs screamed in protest as she took off, bolting away from the scene and zigzagging through trees. As she faded away into the darkness of the woods, Amethyst’s blood-curdling scream echoed through the space, sending a terrible shiver down Peridot’s spine. She ran and ran and ran as fast as she could, not sure what even laid on the other side of the woods. It could be nothing. This could’ve gone on for forever. But she ran nonetheless, tears pricking her eyes. 

 

‘ _ This isn’t real. This can’t be real. _ ’ 

 

Out of breath, the girl hid behind a wide tree, curling up in the indent at the base of the trunk. She covered her own mouth, muffling the cries that wanted to jump from her throat. She sat for what felt like hours but must’ve only been minutes. Slowly, she peeked around the base of the tree and observed the murky darkness. The wind blew through the branches, making the wood creak and moan, but besides that, it was silent. She squinted into the pitch black. 

 

There stood the figure.

 

She gasped, quickly hiding against the tree again. She squeezed her eyes shut, listening carefully as heavy footsteps circled around her, crunching leaves and twigs beneath its weight. She could’ve run again, but to where? Maybe the figure didn’t see her after all. Maybe this was all a dream. Maybe it was all a prank. She couldn’t put it past Amethyst to pull something so elaborate, especially with some help. Peridot’s heart clenched in terror as she carefully opened her eyes…

The killer stood before her, in one hand holding a bloody chainsaw and in the other Amethyst’s prop. They wore Amethyst’s hockey mask as well, as if to mock her victim. Peridot leaped in surprised as the killer tossed her the plastic chainsaw, toting their own weapon with both hands. 

“C...come on now, this is a joke, right?” The killer tilted their head, hand on the chord, ready to rev up the weapon once again. “This is just some sick prank? Who are you, Lapis? Maybe Pearl? You didn’t actually kill Amethyst, right? She’s okay back there, laughing her ass off?” With their head still tilted, as if playing with prey, the figure gave the chainsaw chord a yank, and the engine roared to life once again. Peridot scrambled against the tree. There was no escape, no open space for her to sneak through. Even if she tried, she could be chopped to bits with ease.

“Okay, okay! Seriously! Amethyst, you got me! You got me for real this time, we’re seriously late to the party now! Was this worth it?!” Denial stained her last breaths, and Peridot shielded her face as the massive blade of the chainsaw swopped down towards her. 

 

And it all went dark.


End file.
